Fluff vs. Fire: Who Decides the Lense that Queerness is Portrayed Through?
A Question Mark Over Queer Media
Illustration: Sydney Hanson
“Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love.”
- Heartstopper (2019) by Alice Oseman
Famous are these words to any fanatic of the graphic novel and hit Netflix television show, Heartstopper; each adorns this sweet slogan to promote the queer love story. However, can these three simple phrases accurately describe the romantic experiences we have as queer people?
Growing up in a high school where I was one of two openly gay guys in my grade, I quickly turned to popular queer media in search of answers for what my life was “supposed” to entail. With unsupportive parents and nobody to relate to, Heartstopper became a beacon of hope for the sixteen-year-old gay boy who dreamed of finding love in an environment where opportunities were scarce. I would rewatch the show as many times as I could, listen to the soundtrack non-stop, and even look for style inspirations from the lead character, Charlie Spring. Before I knew it, this show became my sole outlet for queer representation, and I began to form my romantic expectations around the innocent relationship of the main characters Nick and Charlie, who were the perfect picture of young love.
Heartstopper (2022)
In its essence, Heartstopper is just like any modern teenage fairy tale. Two young sweethearts lock eyes, develop a bond that exceeds soulmate status while experiencing some obstacles along the way but are ultimately able to overcome challenges through the sheer power of Converse, lovey-dovey eyes and “Out of My League” by Fitz and The Tantrums. Despite the wholesome and seemingly unproblematic story being told in this series, many viewers have expressed criticisms toward Heartstopper’s idealized portrayal of young queer love. Through personal conversations with others and reading reviews online, time and time again I hear the same argument: “Heartstopper is too unrealistic. It’s an excessive romanticization of what queer relationships are and will inevitably create a false narrative for young people about what life is like for us”.
Heartstopper (2022)
To a certain extent, I can understand these concerns regarding the impact of shows like Heartstopper on young minds. As I mentioned, my adoration for this show led me to create a particular idea in my head of what my romantic life was going to be like, and whenever it didn’t meet those expectations, I would feel deeply disappointed. Had I found a more “realistic” form of representation at that age, then my wide-eyed view of the queer experience may not have caused me to trip as much as it did.
An excellent example of more grounded media could be Euphoria (2019), one of the most famous and talked about television shows of our generation. The main relationship of the show occurs between Rue, who is a lesbian, and Jules, who is trans and unlabeled in terms of sexuality. Unlike Heartstopper, the romance between these two characters is far from light, as Jules is portrayed to be a sort of replacement for Rue’s drug addiction, placing immense pressure on both parties to maintain their happiness together. The trials they endure throughout their relationship are far heavier than what Nick and Charlie experience during the earlier seasons of the show, painting a grittier picture of what teenage queer love can be. The solutions they must find are not as simple as openly communicating one’s feelings for the other or learning to love one’s identity, breaking down any walls of idealism that may tint the narrative.
Euphoria (2019)
Despite the heavier themes portrayed through Euphoria, many may find this type of media to be more appealing as it appears to be much more grounded in their reality than the sickeningly sweet fantasies of Alice Oseman’s creation. If I was to be honest, the relationships I witnessed in high school, both queer and non-queer, were much closer to the depictions in Euphoria than in Heartstopper, so I can easily understand why so many prefer the source of representation they can relate to more. Love isn’t perfect and easy, existing in a soft garden where the largest issue is whether the two of you would stay together after high school.
As the antithesis of Heartstopper, however, Euphoria has been heavily criticized for representing teenage love in a way that is too dark and mature. Despite its brighter moments, the relationship between Rue and Jules is ultimately portrayed as pessimistic and doomed to fail. In fact, the second season features a plotline where Jules cheats on Rue with another character, Elliot, and they ultimately accept their need to stay away from each other in the final episode. While Heartstopper aims to portray queer love as hopeful and sweet, Euphoria follows a melancholy idea that fairy tales only reside in books, even for the youth. This darker narrative may skew the perspective of younger queer viewers by setting an expectation of pain and inevitable heartache in the pursuit of love.
Lessons Learned:
At this point, anyone who might be reading this could be asking, “Well then, oh great and wise writer, if both sides of the spectrum have such prominent pros and cons then what is the correct form of queer representation?” I am here to soothe your questions and confusion with one simple statement: there isn’t one. I cannot tell you what type of queer media is “better”, because it is not up to me to decide what is correct. Who decides the lens that queerness is portrayed through? The only true answer is you, the individual. Everyone’s journey is different, so all I can leave you with is one piece of advice from someone who has once been a victim of this issue.
Life should not always imitate art. There is nothing wrong with consuming certain romantic media as an escape or inspiration, however, it is important to stay grounded and not let a television show take control of our expectations for love. Relationships come in all different shapes, colours and weathers, changing for everyone. Try to discover what you want and are comfortable with through personal exploration rather than Netflix.