In Defense of Courtney Love
From conspiracy theory rabbit holes, to songs, to SNL skits, the notion that Courtney Love killed her husband; Kurt Cobain is omnipresent in our society. It has become a pop culture phenomenon and is what Courtney Love is most known for. This rumor that is continuously perpetuated in the media is remarkably harmful to her image, and while she is an undeniably problematic public figure she is, more importantly, not responsible for the death of her husband, Kurt Cobain. Rather, she is the victim of a conspiratorial, accusatory, and frankly misogynistic audience.
Courtney Love has had an interesting life and an impressive career; however, this nasty rumor is what is predominantly associated with her name. Growing up, Courtney Was a child of divorce with an absent father, and a mother who sent her to reform school after she stole a T-shirt. While she was in reform school, her mother moved away, and she was legally emancipated at the age of 16. Left on her own with a trust fund from her grandparents, she began working as a stripper underage in Portland, Oregon. After graduating high school, she pursued higher education in Europe, while continuing to strip throughout Europe and Japan. This was around the time that she entered the music scene and began working with women who ended up in popular female grunge bands such as Babes in Toyland’s Kat Bjelland. She attempted acting but decided to move to Los Angeles to pursue music again, which is when she formed the iconic grunge band, Hole.
As Hole began to gain popularity in the grunge scene, she met Kurt Cobain. After a dramatic breakup with Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan, she starts dating Kurt. Friends in their circle recounted that they were simply obsessed with one another. Like Courtney, he was also a child of divorce with a chaotic upbringing and had been struggling with mental health issues for nearly his whole life. He was also a frequent drug user. Heroin had an integral role in Kurt and Courtney’s relationship, as they were both using before they met. Kurt had been suffering with extreme stomach pain and used heroin daily to cope. In 1992 they got married after Courtney found out that she was pregnant.
The couple got clean, but Kurt did not stay clean throughout her pregnancy. While Courtney was pregnant, a slanderous Vanity Fair article was released, claiming that she had continued using throughout her pregnancy. When their daughter, Frances Bean Cobain was born, a child services representative with no evidence besides the article, came to take her from her parents. The couple was only permitted to see their daughter during supervised visits for the first 6 months of her life. Kurt dreamt of having a ‘perfect family’ to make up for the one he lacked, and this caused his addiction and mental state to spiral. The fact that Love was ‘at fault’ for using drugs during her pregnancy when in reality, it was Kurt who did not stay clean, further demonstrates that Courtney has been consistently brutalized and misrepresented by the media.
The story of Kurt and Courtney’s relationship and Kurt’s tragic death is not a murder mystery; it is a story about mental health, drug abuse, and pressure from the media, which resulted in a man taking his own life. He was a great artist and he cared deeply about his music. As much as he wanted to come off as nonchalant and carefree, he would obsess over negative reviews and critiques. Kurt resented his fame, and as Nirvana rose in popularity, eventually becoming the biggest band in the world, the pressure only got worse. This pushed him further into the arms of opiates to cope. At this time, Courtney was essentially taking care of him as well as their infant daughter. He wassuffering from suicidal ideations and had overdosed a few times. She staged an intervention shortly before his passing.
This maligning murder myth was predominantly bred from the documentary “Soaked in Bleach”. Before Kurt’s body was found, he had been missing and Courtney had hired a private detective to investigate his whereabouts. The documentary was made by the private investigator alongside Courtney’s estranged father. Courtney has always been an ambitious, loud, self-advocating woman and this has resulted in a lot of hatred towards her. The media truly had a love affair with painting her in every negative light possible, and by way of her public persona, they found it all too easy to blame a grieving widow because she met the criteria of the ‘crazy woman’ stereotype. Her erratic personality is not grounds to accuse her of murder, nor is it fair to expect a person to save their partner from life long mental health struggles or addiction.
The rumor that Courtney Love was involved in the death of her husband and its perpetuation is rooted in sexism and overshadows her accomplishments as an artist. She has done a great deal of problematic things throughout her career; however male rock stars are allowed a lot more leeway and forgiveness when it comes to being a mess in public. Women in the spotlight are held to a higher standard, needing to be caring, righteous, and ‘well behaved’ to gain the acceptance of the media. This leads to the question ‘why do people really hate Courtney Love?’.
The mistreatment she has faced at the hands of the sexist public eye demonstrates that a woman will be met with infinitely more scrutiny than her male counterpart. It is upsetting that male rock stars with controversial personas are considered ‘legends’ or ‘heroes’, while a woman’s musical contributions will be overlooked and emphasis will instead be placed on her ‘craziness’. Her impact on rock music is undeniable, and she opened the door for other women to enter this male-dominated genre. Courtney has made many contributions to the music landscape with her raw and edgy sound, receiving multiple Grammy and MTV Video Music Award nominations, and even pioneered the ‘kinderwhore’ aesthetic. Miss Love should not be thought of as Kurt Cobain’s unhinged wife, but should instead be remembered for how hard she rocked.
