I have 45 mutuals following a Misogynist…
Meeting someone new always leads to an awkward limbo on how we should remain in contact for the next time. Giving my number feels too serious, almost too personal, and Snapchat is a fossil that I choose to disregard from the downloaded apps on my phone. Instagram, however, feels like a perfect medium: personal enough to get an idea of the person you are facing, yet still fairly casual and fun; making the app the best form of keeping in touch.
Connecting with someone on Instagram is a very precise and rigorous process for me. First, I like to look through my own profile, picturing how I could be perceived to others, conceptualizing how my specific arrangement of square photos portray my personality and lifestyle to my newly gained follower(s). Second, I scroll through my new connection’s photos, convincing myself that I get them as an individual based on how they present themselves on the app.
While I will admit that judging someone solely based on their Instagram is a little bit unfair, I believe the most telling tale of all is who they choose to follow - and I stand by that. Personally, I can divide my following list into four categories, those being: 1. I love you, 2. I know you/kind of know you, 3. You’re sexy af, 4. You inspire me. Although these four categories are dissimilar, all of them reflect me as an individual, with thoughts, opinions, loved ones, etc. The above-mentioned categories tend to fit most people’s following list - and now that I’ve given you some context on the inner-workings of my silly little brain.
“I believe the most telling tale of all is who they choose to follow - and I stand by that. ”
Let me set the tone . It was a sunny day in late July. I was doing my daily stalking during my lunch break, to relieve stress from a tedious work day when, of course, I somehow ended up on an openly misogynistic man’s profile. To my surprise, we had 45 mutuals.
FORTY FIVE.
I scrolled through the list in astonishment, confused and curious as to whether these common followers were my close friends, or strangers that received my handle in passing. The combination of current friends and acquaintances following this terrible, terrible man left my jaw on the floor, to say the least.
Not only did many people I considered my friends follow this individual, but my ex boyfriend too, someone I thought I knew well. And so I sat there, with my half eaten sandwich and an open bag of chips, at a loss for words, wondering whether or not I knew any of these people as well as I thought I did. While this may seem very extremely dramatic, I am so deeply passionate about this - to the point where I cannot shake these emotions when they arise.
Following bad people with a pre-existing large platform may not seem like a big deal, but it is nonetheless. Regardless of that, due to the digital nature of our world, we often forget to humanize individuals we strictly see online. Along with that comes this cycle of “meme-ing” them, and deeming certain behavior as a joke, when it is simply unacceptable, and would be heavily reprimanded in real life society. I would hope that my 45 mutual acquaintances with this man fell victim to the “meme-ing”:however, I am probably mistaken.
Which is why my 45 mutuals quickly turned into 0. While I may have been friends with some prior to my lunch break, the epilogue of awkwardness succeeding the unfollowing does not outweigh my own moral obligation to set boundaries with others. Feeling as though these people are content knowing this man is part of their online identity made me feel sick to my stomach (I can assure you it was not the sandwich). The thought of supporting an openly evil person, and deriving jokes from the situation is truly nauseating.
Giving individuals like that a platform is a crime against humanity, and should probably be punishable by law. It sets us all back as a society, and provides said individuals the incentive to continue being themselves (which in this case is not good). For now, I will continue to unfollow the mutuals with a suspicious following list, because you know what they say: Instagram is the window to the soul.
Header by : Valerie Letts
