Accepting Rest

In 2023, it’s fair to assume that most people here at Queen’s and beyond are familiar with the concept of ‘the grind’. In our community, being absolutely swamped with work, school, extracurriculars, and social activities turns into a competition to see who can put themselves through the most exhausting weekly schedule. The busier the better, the more burned out the better. This cycle can be productive  – yet addictive – and I’m not sure if it’s healthy for me any longer.

I’ve realised that it’s okay to allow myself to rest. 

If you asked anyone who knew me this summer, they would tell you that my schedule was pretty insane. I was working 4 jobs in total: I worked as a server, in retail, in data entry, and was also a part time wedding DJ (yes, this one was extremely fun). Add onto that hosting a radio show, appearing on another, completing two summer courses, a Pilates membership, attempting to go to the gym every day, pitching and writing articles, preparing to go on exchange, and if I was lucky, some time with my friends squeezed in there too. Reflecting back on it, I’m astonished that I was able to keep this up for the entire summer. At times, I would wake up in panic, convinced that I had forgotten something or was meant to be somewhere. My calendar looked like a high-stakes family game of monopoly - pieces scattered everywhere, with every move being crucial, bound to end in tears. Luckily, I avoided any major catastrophes, but I failed to realise that the remnants of this high-stress lifestyle would linger longer than I intended for it to. 

A main reason why my summer was so hectic was because I was saving up to go on exchange in Spain for a semester, where I am extremely lucky to be right now. When the day finally came to leave Canada, I was both excited to start a new adventure, but also immensely relieved not to be weighed down with  any responsibilities - at least for a couple weeks before my new semester started. I had worked hard, and now, finally, the fun could begin. 

My calendar looked like a high-stakes family game of monopoly - pieces scattered everywhere, with every move being crucial, bound to end in tears. Luckily, I avoided any major catastrophes, but I failed to realise that the remnants of this high-stress lifestyle would linger longer than I intended for it to. 

- madison taylor

I was free. So why did I still feel stressed?

Even though I was now technically unconfined from the burden of my numerous responsibilities, a heavy brick weighed down on my chest during my first week in Spain. It was a physical and mental feeling of strain: I genuinely could not relax. I was lying on the beach, surrounded by breathtaking scenery, joined by my closest friends, yet I had a knot of anxiety in my stomach that someone needed something from me, or I had missed some unknown deadline. I was noticeably on edge, and it took an entire week of constant reassurance from those around me that it was in fact okay to relax, and I wasn’t going to be punished for it. My body and mind had a hard time accepting that they were no longer under immense pressure. 

Eventually, I was able to let go, but the experience left me rather rattled. Something in my mindset needed to change, or I would quickly burn out if I continued to repeat this cycle. 

Though we may idealise ‘the grind’ above all else, and view rest as weak or selfish, I’ve realised that I need to find a balance between the two. I’ve learned that my energy supply is not endless, and that rejuvenation is required in order to continue on my path. My summer was an intense one, and I learned a lot about myself, and how I operate. I’m still having to find that balance as I tend to overcommit myself, but I’ve turned a big corner in the way I think about rest. No, it is not lazy to recharge your batteries every once and a while, and it doesn’t make you a lesser person to admit when you need a helping hand. 

So, as the end of the semester approaches, remind yourself that it’s okay to sleep for more than three hours, to ask your professors and friends for help, and to give yourself a pat on the back for how hard you’ve been trying. Yes, being on the grind seems to be how it’s done at Queen’s, but coming out of it with your mind and body intact is equally as important. 

Header: Amelia Tran