The Stories Tarot Told Me: First Reading
six of swords (upright)
Hi,
I haven’t quite gotten my new place in France figured out yet, it’s been three weeks since I got here. This could’ve been a text or an email, but I thought maybe a letter would show you I cared more. I still do. Never in a million years do I ever expect to hear from you again, but I just want you to see an apology from me one last time.
I’m sorry for running like I did. There were months where I could’ve told you or asked you to run away with me, but that’d be even more wrong. That’s your home, now your house. It wasn’t mine, and maybe deep down, it was never meant for me. I can’t promise that France will be mine, but I know I had to try and follow where pulled. Maybe it won’t be France, it’ll be India or Egypt or Japan. You deserve a house like yours with wisteria growing up the brick to make sure it never floats away like I did. With the wrap around porch you wanted since we visited Georgia last May. You deserve the strongest fences to hold in all the beautiful art and memories you’ll make in that house. I suppose my presence would’ve tainted those canvases and memories that should be just as perfect as you.
There’s a window in my apartment, and there are two people walking by, fingers interlocked, eating cupcakes. In another world, I bet that could’ve been us. If I was crueler, I’d buy you every pastry in France to make you forget about the home you left behind and would’ve missed so dearly. There wouldn’t be enough cinnamon in the world to make Paris the home you deserve, I’ve looked. You’d resent me for making you another struggling creative trying to make it big in Paris when you were the shining star of our hometown, rightfully so. Only your murals should have ribbon openings all over the world.
Once again, I find myself evading the reason I’m writing to you. I want to apologize to you once again. I am endlessly sorry for how I hurt you, how I left and the way I did. You had the softest and brightest wisteria that you were so considerate to spread onto me, creating the utmost warm and secure place to exist and fall in love with you. I did, then I cut that wisteria with the small sword I’ve had in my back pocket since I was sixteen and ran away with no concern for how that wisteria withered or how long you’d have to nurture it back to life. I was selfish. I could have been so much better. I could’ve been honest. You’re just the one person who could’ve changed me, and I’d never be ready for that.
I’ll apologize forever,
the one air sign you thought was better
the world (upright)
fingers interlocked
snowflakes on scarves
survival of us strongest
commuter march goodbye june
hats coughs in july
teary september
parisian november
our red jackets
green gloves frosting remains
home december
mine forever
Meaning of the Cards
The World (Upright): The World Upright is a happy ending after a long journey symbolized by this card. It is about fulfillment, achievement, completion, and connection to the rest of the world.
Six of Swords (Upright): Six of Swords Upright symbolizes leaving a tumultuous ending in hopes of a peaceful and promising future. There has been an escape with an element of reconciliation.
Header by: Sarah Kaye
