Loving a celebrity and critiquing their flaws don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

If you had asked me five years ago if I considered myself a Swiftie, the answer would have been an immediate and enthusiastic yes. I grew up loving Taylor Swift and (somewhat annoyingly) made sure everyone in my life knew it. I vividly recall being gifted a Speak Now CD during a Christmas gift exchange at the age of seven. It was wrapped inside a granola bar box and was the first album I ever owned. For the rest of that year, I overworked my pink CD player, constantly playing the album from front to back, rarely getting up to skip a song. From then on, I was hooked. For my birthday the following summer, I got tickets to my first-ever concert, the Speak Now World Tour. I went with my mom and wore black cowboy boots with hearts stitched into the side, desperately trying to be the spitting image of Taylor Swift. For over a decade, Taylor has been someone I’ve related to and admired from afar. But despite my history as a devoted fan, recently when asked the question, “Are you a Swiftie?” I find myself hesitating, now aware that my answer signifies more than my love for her music.

Within the last decade, relationships between fans and their idols have ventured into intrusive territory. Fans can now find and fixate on their favourite public figure’s location, food choices, and relationships. Even the gym they belong to is debated to a tedious extent online. Consequently, the public is now able to readily discover what celebrities stand for, or more importantly, what they neglect to support. This steady stream of extensive personal information sparks a debate surrounding how critical we should be of celebrity’s stances, images and actions. Some die-hard fans choose to defend their faves like a full-time job. They tirelessly comment, tweet and post about how their idol is better than yours and that they can do no wrong. On the contrary, some choose to be hyper-critical of the famous, expecting vocal opinions on every global conflict, a flawless solution to the issues, alongside a massive donation.

When it comes to Taylor Swift, I will timidly admit I used to belong to the die-hard fan category. For the longest time, I struggled to accept criticism of this person I’d virtually grown up with. When people made negative comments about her, it felt like they insulted me, or someone in my own family. I found myself in endless debates about her music, friendships, and dating life. Regardless of context, I defended her to a fault. At the time, I felt that a “true” fan would agree with and support their favourite artists unconditionally. As I've matured, I’ve come to understand that this is far from the case. Loving a celebrity and critiquing their flaws don’t need to be mutually exclusive. Alongside this realization has come a shift in my feelings towards the artist I once thought could do no wrong.

Over the last few years, I’ve felt my endless devotion to Taylor Swift slowly morph into a brewing contempt. I’m disappointed in her use of white performative feminism that she only miraculously vocalizes when sexism is aimed at herself or someone who looks like her. I’m embarrassed by her jet-setting lifestyle that terrorizes the climate. I’m infuriated by her careless close association with those accused of sexual assault. I’m demoralized by her money-hungry capitalist agenda that causes her to release several dozens of versions of her albums, lining her pockets by capitalizing on her fans' willingness to buy anything she produces. I’ve never held tolerance for these things in my real life, so why should I tolerate them from a celebrity I claim to love? The answer is, I shouldn’t. By having the mindset that the celebrities you love can do no wrong, you’re enabling their out-of-touch behaviour.

Social media has complicated the status of relationships between fans and celebrities. The somewhat unlimited personal access we gain through posts and videos gives us a sense of familiarity surrounding certain people in the public eye. With each glimpse into celebrities' personal lives, fans' parasocial relationships grow deeper. It’s almost as though celebrities are friends you haven’t seen in a while but still love from afar. If you bumped into each other on the street, you’d stop and hug, catching up on the latest drama between mutual friends. In reality, these relationships are one-sided. One party longs to be noticed while the other has no intention of getting to know them. The dynamic of these relationships leaves fans in a compromised position where they either turn a blind eye to celebrities' flaws out of devotion or end up deeply disappointed. Evidently, a breakup is looming.