The first time I knowingly listened to an Adrianne Lenker song was in the second semester

of my first year. I had the track “Shark Smile”, by Lenker’s band, Big Thief, on some of my playlists but wasn’t aware of the mastermind behind the song until then. In January of first year, I found myself in a new friend group alongside my lifelong best friend. We all shared similar

tastes in music, political views, and had complementary senses of humour. Sitting in small dorm rooms, trading the role of aux, and chatting about nonsense— this is where I discovered Adrianne Lenker. Since then, whether Big Thief or Lenker’s solo work, her lyrical excellence draws me in and has played as the background music to the ups and downs of my university experience. When reflecting on the three years I’ve spent at Queen’s so far, my mind breaks them up into different parts. The chapters are strung together by friends, classes, memorable nights out, and of course, music. I vividly associate each of these eras with an Adrienne Lenker song that I would replay over and over again during that period. The songs were able to capture how I was feeling at the time, speaking to Lenker’s captivating writing and ability to connect with a listener.

Chapter 1: Wake Me Up to Drive

The first chapter begins in Vic Hall dorm rooms, where new interests and friend groups were both established and solidified. Big Thief's fifth album, “Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You”, came out in February of this year. After a passionate recommendation from a friend, I listened to the album, and immediately, it was a new favourite. I played it non-stop while walking to class, cleaning my ever-messy dorm room or doing laundry in the dreaded Vic Hall basement— I was obsessed. The standout song that reminds me of this novel time in my life when everything felt somewhat fragile is Wake Me Up to Drive. Upon the first listen, this song was my favourite on the album as the lyrics connected to the mixture of excitement and unease of my first year at university. The lyrics “Wake me up to drive, wake me up to drive, even if I’m tired I don’t wanna miss the ride” acknowledged my constant worry of not wanting to miss out on anything, eager to set my friendships in stone and take it all in. 

Chapter 2: Anything

Although I can genuinely say I’ve loved my time at Queen’s, I’m willing to admit that the second semester of second year was a little bumpy. Having all my challenging courses in one semester paired with a side of heartbreak was a less than ideal combination. As someone who lives for academic validation, I was quickly humbled when midterm season came around. After midterms, I spent most of my time studying to recover from some of the worst marks I’d ever received, while simultaneously loathing myself for letting a boy have so much of an impact on my life. During this period, “Anything” by Adrienne Lenker was one of the only songs I wanted to listen to. This song is the perfect display of Lenker’s unrivalled writing style. Despite the specificity of the lyrics that describe scenes from a relationship she experienced, they still connect to a wide range of listeners  (including a 19 year old girl left feeling hopeless by relationships and academics). At the time, listening to the lyric, “I don’t wanna be the owner of your fantasy, I just want to be a part of your family,” felt like a punch to the gut. Now, when I listen, the song feels comforting, as I'm enlightened by the hindsight that everything will be okay; grades can recover, and boys are never the end of the world.

Chapter 3: No Reason

The past summer and first semester of third year have been some of the most self assured times of my life. Although harder to reflect on because of their recency, I’ve settled into myself and my post-teenage-emotional-chaos life. Big Thief's song, “No Reason”, is the track I would use to summarise the feeling of reaching the point where you really like yourself and the life you’ve established. The song feels full circle, as if you’ve finally reached a moment of peace in a whirlwind of unfamiliar territory. The lyric, “Come together for a moment look around and dissolve, like a feeling like a flash, like a fallen eyelash on your sweater threading future through the past,” will always capture this feeling for me.

Chapter 4: Sadness As a Gift

As I left for exchange at the beginning of this semester, I felt a strange mix of emotions.Feeling both excited about the drastic life change while also being upset about leaving Kingston and most of my friends was confusing. Luckily, right before leaving, Lenker released a single titled “Sadness As a Gift” to help sort out my uncertainty. Lenker writing, “Leaning on the windowsill, you could write me someday and I bet you will,” was a reminder that I was saying see you later to friends, not goodbye. Lenker was once again able to reach through my headphones to sort through the thoughts that had been eating away at my brain. 

As a lyric-focused listener, Adriane Lenker is addictive. Her ability to poetically string words together is unmatched and resonates with me and many of my friends. Everyone has artists that have stuck with them through certain periods of their life, and Lenker is one of the most prominent songwriters who’s filled my playlists throughout university. It’s hard to imagine what songs would have filled the void in my music library for the last three years if I’d never discovered Adriane Lenker.