Hey Soul Sister
“You got a latercurfew than I did!”, “Why is it okay for you to start X, Y, and Z before Idid?”, “You’re the favourite”, “I used to get in way more trouble than you do”… and the list goes on.
As the younger sister, I’ve heard it all.Don’t get me wrong, I understand that being the first-born comes with itschallenges. They were the ones who had to pave the path of childhood,transition into teenage years, endure the tough ‘first-time’ parenting experiences;they were the guinea pigs for it all. Kudos to you, older sis!
Yet, with allthis admiration and appreciation comes a bit of frustration. Many people do notrealize younger siblings experience a whole other slew of pressures. It mayseem like we’ve been living a ‘scot-free’ lifestyle all these years, but thereare some things we youngins’ deal with that our siblings don’t.
Firstly, we mustfind the balance between trying to emulate our oh-so-perfect elder while alsotrying to be our own person. It isn’t easy following in their footsteps, whiletrying to create our own path at the same time! I have lived in constant fearof measuring up to my older sister, while also not wanting to be compared toher too often. For example, I followed in her footsteps byattending the same CEGEP (college, for those who don’t understand Quebec…it’sokay though, neither do I) for one year before also coming to Queen’s (keep inmind, this was after graduating from the same school we both went to for 12years). All in all, it may seem as though I haven’t put much thought into mychoices; I was always worried that from an outside perspective, it would looklike I just wanted to copy my sister.
Over the years,to cope with this feeling, I have tried to remind myself of all the things I dodifferently. For instance, my sister went to CEGEP in sciences, a verydifferent experience than my Commerce choice. Secondly, despite her bestefforts to convince me that Econ is “actually a good time”, I chose Psychology.She is a determined, adventurous, and spontaneous soul; she did exchange in Singapore, has been skydivingmultiple times, and traveled Europe alone. I am more of a home-body.Spontaneity is not my strong-suit, so I find adventure in more familiar ways.For example, I decided to get a job here at Queen’s, something my older sister wasnever into doing. Also, instead of travelling to unknown destinations, I choseto spend my summers as a camp counsellor, which also came with its own set ofobstacles.
I’ve always struggled with the worry of not being my own person. I’ve always been taught that individuality is a virtue, but also to embody my more experienced sister. When I was younger, it was harder and more confusing to balance the two, but when I look at the big picture, I am by no means a carbon copy of my older sis. Instead, I have emulated her values and passions in my own way, keeping her advice close to heart. I look up to her (even though I am a foot taller….sorry not sorry), but still pave my own path. At the end of the day, growing up with a sister by my side is a blessing; I feel lucky and humbled when people tell me I resemble her…just not when it’s all the time, you know?
