Late Night Ruminations
1.A blank page and sharp pencil
tired wrist and heavy mind
so many things to say
so many things left unsaid
i used to wonder what a world without you in it
would be like like
now i don't have to wonder
can something be both suffocating and freeing?
you were the breath of fresh air
i couldn't breathe in
the sand paper that exposed the cracks in the surface
when i see you i see nothing
but isn't that still something?
i used to see a broken person
that i was willing to fix
but you wouldn't hand me the toolbox
i catch glimpses of a person who's growing
but your roots strangled me as your flowers blossomed(april 2022)
layers
you are no stranger to january's cold embrace but the wind seems extra harsh this year
harsher than the words he says to you
your cheeks burn from each gust of wind and they leave a mark too
you begin to define yourself the way he defines you
your fingers are numb
you try to wiggle them
but they barely move an inch
he tells you that you shouldn't be feeling the way you are feeling so you start to feel nothing at all
your ears are red and cold to the touch
the whistle of the wind is deafening
you shut everyone else out except for him you don't realize that silencing others only makes his voice louder
your arms are covered in goosebumps
the same voice that used to give you butterflies now gives you chills
so pull that scarf right over your neck
it's a shield
grab those gloves
they fit real snug
wear your earmuffs
listen to yourself
oh and grab an extra sweater while you're at it
you can never have enough layers (december 2021)
3. i wish
i could turn our story
into a novel
and our ending
into a cliffhanger
i wish
our battle
equipped me with an armour
that only made me stronger
i wish
this was a race
with a crowd cheering at the finish line
i wish
i was an actor
who received a standing ovation
for my performance
i wish
i could go back
to when i thought
that we could be something beautiful(march 2022)
4. mixed signals
a fever dream
of late night texts
and daytime exchanges
hope
and the fear of falling
all three colours of the traffic light
illuminated at the same time
a sureness
erased by doubt
in a matter of minutes
a doubt
that tells me
you don't want me
you just want to be wanted (march 2022)
By: Massimo Recupero
Image:
from "Organic Love"
Creative Director: Rida Chaudhry
Photographer: Taryn Resende
MUA: Jill Ford
Models: Marcus Zain
Ella Dalini
Kate Mcconnell
