1.A blank page and sharp pencil

tired wrist and heavy mind

so many things to say

so many things left unsaid

i used to wonder what a world without you in it

would be like like

now i don't have to wonder

can something be both suffocating and freeing?

you were the breath of fresh air

i couldn't breathe in

the sand paper that exposed the cracks in the surface

when i see you i see nothing

but isn't that still something?

i used to see a broken person

that i was willing to fix

but you wouldn't hand me the toolbox

i catch glimpses of a person who's growing

but your roots strangled me as your flowers blossomed(april 2022)

layers

you are no stranger to january's cold embrace but the wind seems extra harsh this year

harsher than the words he says to you

your cheeks burn from each gust of wind and they leave a mark too

you begin to define yourself the way he defines you

your fingers are numb

you try to wiggle them

but they barely move an inch

he tells you that you shouldn't be feeling the way you are feeling so you start to feel nothing at all

your ears are red and cold to the touch

the whistle of the wind is deafening

you shut everyone else out except for him you don't realize that silencing others only makes his voice louder

your arms are covered in goosebumps

the same voice that used to give you butterflies now gives you chills

so pull that scarf right over your neck

it's a shield

grab those gloves

they fit real snug

wear your earmuffs

listen to yourself

oh and grab an extra sweater while you're at it

you can never have enough layers (december 2021)

3. i wish

i could turn our story

into a novel

and our ending

into a cliffhanger

i wish

our battle

equipped me with an armour

that only made me stronger

i wish

this was a race

with a crowd cheering at the finish line

i wish

i was an actor

who received a standing ovation

for my performance

i wish

i could go back

to when i thought

that we could be something beautiful(march 2022)

4. mixed signals

a fever dream

of late night texts

and daytime exchanges

hope

and the fear of falling

all three colours of the traffic light

illuminated at the same time

a sureness

erased by doubt

in a matter of minutes

a doubt

that tells me

you don't want me

you just want to be wanted (march 2022)

By: Massimo Recupero

Image:

from "Organic Love"

Creative Director: Rida Chaudhry
Photographer: Taryn Resende
MUA: Jill Ford
Models: Marcus Zain
Ella Dalini
Kate Mcconnell